Welcome to the world of Travels and tales!

The Beginning:

Finally, I decided to write. I am not sure how it is going to be or how far I would be able to. I have a very strong reason to say this. I am not a person with a great vocabulary. I do not know those big complicated lengthy English words. Not a good note to start, right? I know, but cannot help it. I am a person who lives in reality after all.

I was not like this. I used to consider myself a princess in fairy-tale. Yes, that princess with the small crown on her head, the most pampered, fair, longhaired princess. I must say, I used to look at every frog thinking that it might be my prince charming. However, my reality turned out pretty opposite. For a fact, I was neither fair nor had long hair. I was that short girl with messed-up hair.

Are you wondering why I am speaking all of these? I am coming to that. It was just the beginning of my life of “Being a girl”. At the age of 13 I guess, I started realizing how difficult it is to be a girl. It all started when I could not even realize what is happening.

I was going to school that day. Mom packed everything and I was in a hurry. I just came out, and my aunt was at the doorstep and she said, Wow my darling! You are looking like a doll. I was so happy that I am a girl. I never saw someone saying the same to my brother. I took my bicycle out and was on my way. I heard a whistle. I did not turn back. I could see that there is someone behind me. Actually, group! One of them was saying something. Moreover, the others were laughing. Still, I did not turn back. All of a sudden, that person came in front of my bicycle and I had no other way than to stop… I did not even look at him… He gave me a paper. I did not take it. He shouted again. He sounded like my father for a second. Again, I had only one option; I took it and was on my way back.
I was confused… Why were they following me? Why were they laughing at me? What was that he gave to me? Then I reached my school and entered my class. My class boys were whispering something. I went to school after 15 days. It was all a very big function and all about my “Puberty Ceremony”
But I did not understand one thing… How does that affect me? I was the same girl before and I am the same girl now. Nevertheless, why are these people acting weird? I was confused and shocked. Ever since that thing started, everything is different from what it used to be! I wish I could understand WHY!

Then my life changed completely. I should not go out and play. My dressing was changed and moreover, I was suggested to change the way I speak. I never understood why. For me, I was the same old girl with messed up hair.

I guess I did not actually tell you guys about my family. My dad is a proud retired army officer.  A man with a very big belly, curved mustache, dark and bald head. I hardly spoke to my dad. Then coming to my Mom. She is the biggest “Abala Nari”( A helpless woman) you could ever come across in your life. I never saw my mom talking to my dad, for that matter I never saw her speaking to anyone except our “Laxmi”. “Laxmi” was our cow by the way. Then let me introduce you to my brother. The rudest and a person with no manners. The only thing my brother used to do was eat, roam, sleep, and repeat.

I am a small-town girl. My village hardly had 500 houses with six wine shops and a movie theatre. Wondering how do I know the count? I overheard my brother talking to his friends. Soon I was done with my “Puberty ceremony” at 13, and the number of relatives who used to visit our house doubled. I never cared why. All I know is I get sweets whenever there are relatives in our house. My studies never bothered my family though I managed to top every exam. All they were concerned about were those “Talks” with “Relatives”.

I turned 16. I remember the day because of the weird coincidence of getting my class 10 results on the same day. My school principal called my dad on the landline, which we used to have, and told him that I was a district topper. I did not see any change in my dad’s expression. To be very frank, that was what I was expecting too. I saw my dad being very busy the whole day. 3 days later, my dad seemed to be very happy. I saw him talking to Mom. He had a big smile on his face. All I heard was “Marriage”.

My mom came to me after he left; she told me “You are getting married next month”. All I did was nod my head. No expressions at all, maybe I did grow up that way. I heard so many conversations in that one month. I also heard that it is a pretty “good deal”. I have no idea about his job or him. I was expected to sit, get married, and leave. The funniest part was I did not have a problem with it and was comfortable with the same too. After all, I have grown up for 16 years watching the same.

Then I got Married!!!

Yes, I got married. It was the same process that I saw a couple of times in our village. It was mostly about turmeric, new clothes, food, and fighting. I sat beside a stranger getting married. I have no idea what will be next. Probably I will leave my house too just like the other girls in the village.

Well, I was correct. The next day, my father got a well-decorated car and I left my home that day. Though I had seen a couple of movies, where there will be a lot of crying and stuff before leaving, none of that happened in my case. I had no tears in my eyes. Nevertheless, before leaving, I saw my mother in a corner, wiping her tears. Poor woman, she did not even have the chance of crying aloud.

I reached his house. It was not as big as our house. A straight house with 3 rooms. He was the only son and his father passed away when he was 12. He studied hard and got the clerk post in a bank. Though he wanted his mother to stay with him in the city, she never accepted the same as it was all she got as her husband’s memory. To be honest, I felt funny when I heard that. I mean I can never imagine my mom talking about my father’s memories. I do not think she will have any.

We stayed there for a week and moved to the “City”. My mother-in-law was just like my mom. She hardly spoke to me. Maybe I was too good as a daughter-in-law. From waking up at 5 O clock and giving her tea, to 10 o clock giving her medicines, I never skipped any in these 7 days. My husband was also like his mother only I guess. He spoke less than 10 words this week. He was quite a handsome man. Tall, dark, and well-built body. I could not stop staring at him the other day when he just came out of the shower and asked me for his clothes. Because of the 3-room house, we did not even sleep together for these 7 days. I used to sleep in the middle room with my mother-in-law and he used to sleep in the first room.

As I was saying, we moved to the city after a week. He had a decent rented house in a good locality. It was a one-bedroom house. He managed to buy all the basic things and of course, my father filled up the house with the newly sent stuff as “Gifts”. I guess my father managed to find a person just like him. Even my husband never had expressions on his face. I continued being an ideal wife. Waking up early, packing his tiffin, taking care of the household stuff, and waiting for him in the evening. He used to come in the evening, we have dinner together and we sleep. Yes, we just sleep. Maybe because of my nature, I never questioned him and days were passing by. After 2 weeks I guess, he came home with his colleagues and introduced me to them. They were quite well behaved and all they were doing was praising him the whole evening. I was quite happy listening to that. Somewhere in my heart, I started having hopes of having a different life from my mother.

After everyone left, my husband helped me clean up the house. I still remember having butterflies in my stomach whenever I felt his touch. We were done with the cleaning and he went to bath. I got freshened up too and was waiting for him in the bedroom.

He came out. A sight to kill though. He is very handsome. His smile is the most charismatic. He went to the other room, got dressed up, came to me, and sat beside me. The first man I have ever come across, and handsome too. Moreover,  my husband. I guess you can imagine what a 16-year-old girl will think at that point.

I was staring at him. He turned towards me. There was a foot distance between us I guess. I could feel his breath. Then he started speaking”

“Did you like anyone who came to our house today?”

I was dumbstruck. I did not trust my ears for a second. I felt numb.

He asked again:

“Tell me dear, did you like anyone who came to our house today?” he asked in the most polite way possible.

I stared at him and asked, “WHAT?”

He started speaking: I am sorry for this situation dear. After all, I was too afraid to speak the truth about what I am. I can never be a husband to you. That is the reason I am asking you to tell me if you liked anyone today. I know you are not a girl who had a boyfriend before. Otherwise, I would have asked for that only. Please tell me if you have any such story.

Me: What will you do if I like any of your colleagues?

I will talk to them to “take care of your pleasures and needs”. In that way, we can have kids too. I am not forcing you into anything. I just want to hide my identity as “A Man who likes other Men but not women”. You can have your life and no one will question us too. You see, it’s all about society …your dad…my mom…!

I could not hear anything after that. I stood up, went to the washroom, and sat. I honestly do not know for how long. I did not cry though. I felt like I lost all my senses. I sat like that for more than 24 hours.

My ideal husband tried everything. From pleading to threatening. Nothing worked.

I came out after a day. My husband was standing right in front of me. He was staring at me. I went to the washroom, bathed for an hour, and came out. I was sitting on the sofa and my husband came and sat beside me.

I started speaking:

I do not want any pleasure from your friends. I will not reveal my true self to society too. I do not want to go to the same place again. Help me study and support me financially for some time. I guess you got a good deal. Spend a little of it on me. I will not be a burden for long though. I will leave at the earliest.

He did not speak anything.

I continued: I want to be something in my life. I believe that I have the potential too. All I am asking Is your help.

He stood up, and left the room without uttering a word.

The conclusion:

He came back in the evening with a box. A computer it is and a couple of books with it. He spoke to the principal of a college and paid fees too. He wanted me to stay in a hostel and study.

I completed my intermediate with a state rank and comfortably got an IIT seat. The topper student after all. I got a job in a very good MNC and now, I have a boyfriend too. I still catch up with my husband and we three go out. We did not have to take a divorce, as our marriage itself was not legal because I was married at 16. I never spoke to my family after my marriage. I never felt like talking actually.

I always thank my father for taking the decision about my marriage.

I just wonder how weird our society can be.

A girl getting married at 16!

A Woman who will not speak!

A Man who should not be gay!

Out of all odds, I decided to be different. Though I managed to grab a six-digit salaried job, I decided to write.

Well, you all know I do now! I am not planning to stop and I will write as much as I can. After all, I decided not to be a part of our weird society.